The Journey Home

Yesterday I returned to my former life in a different body, with a different mind and a different spirit. The major difference is that now all three things feel aligned, one piece, like a lamppost - unbroken! 

NYC is always so magical to return to after long periods of time. It always feels like home. It is always exciting. I studied the dialogue most of the plane ride home and was tremendously productive in Business Class (thank God!) In between snoozes and Star magazine, I refined the standing series without being too disruptive to the guy next to me.

As we neared the end of the flight, I decided to pull up the shade for a peek to see where we were. I happened to look out just as the plane was flying over NYC from the West Side/NJ. I was never so happy to see Her.

When I finally got to Toe Stand, I was hung up on the last line, just before Savasana. "Change. Come up exactly the opposite way you went down."

Exactly the opposite...isn't that my life now? It's so different from where I was, even just one year ago; so much better. The journey into LAX and the inner workings of Bikram Choudhry - the magician, the salesman, the madman, the genius, the comedian, the therapist, the Jewish American Prince and the list goes on - was very similar to the journey out. 

Leaving LA on Sunday morning, I had the same bittersweet emotions as when I left NY back in April. The feelings are all the same; its all relative. Some moments, I feel like I got sideswiped by Hurricane Bikram. I am exhausted emotionally but have tons of energy physically, which I guess is a good result. 

This morning marked my return to Bikram Yoga NYC. Solange taught the 8am - she killed us, as usual. She and I spoke at length about my Teacher Training experience. She totally cared about my development. I could not get out of the locker room with all the questions being thrown at me from anyone who knew I just returned from Training. It felt like home.

My goal is to continue blogging on all subjects yoga/health related to keep all you Yoga Girls informed. Stay tuned for NY Yoga Girl!

Week 9 Teachers

Monday pm: Bikram
Tuesday pm: Bikram
Wednesday am: Joseph (NY)
Wednesday pm: Juan
Thursday am: Emmy
Thursday pm: Jim
Friday am: Raj
Friday pm: Bikram

Twas the Night Before Graduation....

...And all through the house, lots of yogis were stirring, but thankfully not the mouse. 

Our bags were almost packed, less the one magical degree.

That piece of paper we came for, which equals our personal victory.

One last class with Boss tonight, of course in rare form. 

He gave us his all, which is always the norm.

High fives were abundant as we waited with pride,

To start our last class together, wow - what a fucking ride!

Our graduation outfits have all been selected with care.

We will primp, we will glam, but no GREEN anywhere!

I can't believe tomorrow is the day we say goodbye.

Graduation footage will be streamed live, there will be no dry eye.

That's right, I speak in Calcutta tongue now that I'm through,

So I can race home to New York and show you what I can do.

To save your life and build you a new spine,

Would be my biggest privilege, it will be so divine!

So see you in the Hamptons, July 1st is the date.

Hamptons Hot Yoga, please don't be late.

I will close the door on this chapter before the real magic starts.

My teaching career awaits me, I will leave behind only Jimmy's farts.

That's right, I said it, there was agony along the way,

But the journey was worth it, if only we could stay...

Just Breathe

I have managed to stay healthy for 9 weeks, while everyone around me has been sick at least once. I was proud of this statistic up until today. Tonight my throat failed me, my energy level was low. 

Since Bikram's type of breathing takes place through the throat, using the nose and mouth as only passageways, I was not able to fully engage in this evening's meditative breathing. I was there in body, but my mind and spirit have already returned home to New York. 

What I can tell you is this...our lungs are always hungry. Like an insatiable, wild animal, the lungs crave purified air. Bikram created a breathing system that fuels this fire. We take 6 seconds to inhale and 6 seconds to exhale in the warm-up of his series. Do you ever notice that a solid 10 minutes of thorough breathing at the beginning of class translates to an amazing practice? I can always tell how good my poses will be by how strong my breathing is. That's because it's all related..

Breathing is not just something we do to survive, it's something we do to calm down, to meditate and to produce energy in our bodies. Life force is another term used to describe the breath. It is everything and nothing all at the same time. Air leaves almost as fast as it comes into our bodies. How we choose to harness it is up to the individual.

The end of week 9 marks more and more down time and less and less dialogue study, which I hope to resume asap (i.e. on the plane ride home Sunday). I have a heavy heart and an anxious mind as I begin to pack up my hotel room which I practically turned into a studio apartment. Thank God Mom is bringing an extra suitcase and I have my trunk to pack the rest in.

I am so grateful to be seeing my mother tomorrow. She's flying cross-country to watch me graduate on Saturday, which will be a most-memorable moment for both of us. Hopefully my body will continue to fight whatever has crawled in me and taken up residence. In the mean time, I will have to breathe my way through, (which ever nostril is still functioning), for the next 48-hours.

There Are Places I Remember

The things I will miss the most about LA/Training:
- Doing yoga twice a day with 400+ like-minded people
- Bikram's "colorful" commentary in class
- The Counter
- Manhattan Beach weekends
- Getting my ass kicked by Emmy every Thursday
- Michon's DJ'ing skills
- Spending an hour by the pool daily
- Observing Balwan
- Group 11 comrades
- Visits with Motie
- Exploring new yoga studios in the area
- Belly laughs & good coffee with Rachael F
- Adventures with Ish

The things I will miss the least about LA/Training:
- TRAFFIC
- Lecture room chairs
- Lining up daily/nightly to grab said chairs
- Inconsistently cold yoga
- Annoying questions & negative people
- Posture clinic floors & injuries
- Water belly
- Bed Bug paranoia
- Listening to people complain about their roommates
- The 3rd Floor Ice Machine!
- Michon's wandering eye
- Sugar/caffeine pushers
- Carrying a 64oz water bottle everywhere I go

A Real Yogi

A real yogi....
...Turns her head in sadness; always remains calm and balanced.
...Shows no sign of sorrow or happiness, just depth of soul.
...Controls her own mind and senses, not the other way around.
...Possesses no attachment.
...Uses intellect to define peace and thwart desire.
...Does not partake in false sympathy.

The Hardest Part...

...Of Week 9 is staying present. How can you with the thought of returning home looming? To make matters worse, our heating system is busted, again. We are forced to practice in icy cold conditions, which translates to barely breaking a sweat these days. I have fantasies about practicing at the other local studios to get my heat on, but I cannot abandon the ship. We have started together, all 411 of us that remain, and we will finish together on Saturday, guns blazing, certificates in hand, with our smiling happy faces.

Tonight's class will be filmed and used (if good) for at-home practice. Bikram has apparently tried multiple times to get this DVD made for public sale, but none of the previous footage has made the cut. I'm trying to be motivated and positive, but I am cold and tired from the 3 hours of sleep I got last night (not counting the 2 hours of sleep on the floor during last night's movie, which I can't even tell you the name of).

My problematic neck has turned it's pain switch on again, partially due to lack of heat during practice and sleeping on the floor. And partially due to subconscious stress and nervousness revolving around the end of my training. Bikram's lectures are long, specific and non-specific all at the same time. He contradicts a lot of what we learned to be correct at our home studios. 

It's time to go down to the 5 o'clock Bollywood meets Hollywood yoga class. I wonder if Boss will ask us what he can do with "dead, cold pussy" tonight? He better!!